LOVE

What is the meaning of
love?
Most people who claim to
love someone don ’t really
love them, because they don’t
know what love actually is.
What is love NOT?
Possessiveness is not love
Jealousy is not love
Lust is not love
Fear is not love
Keeping people all to yourself
is not love
Expecting something from
someone is not love
Real love is unconditional. All
other “forms” of love are not
really love. Most parents and
kids don ’t love each other,
most people in relationships
don ’t love each other, most
people on the planet never
experience unconditional love
in their entire lives … or at
least it sure looks that way.
To love someone
unconditionally means that
you love the person exactly as
they are, exactly as they were
before, and exactly as they
will be in the future – because
people change all the time, so
if you love the person, you will
love them even if they
become something you
disagree with. How many
parents can say that about
their kids? How many people
can say that about their
“ lover”? Love is not about you
or your pleasure or your
amusement. It ’s not about
what you get out of it or what
the other person can give to
you. It ’s not about having a
trophy you can show off with
and tell people “This is *MY*
girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/
husband/son/daughter/
whatever ”. You do not “own”
anyone. It’s not about you
feeling ‘proud’ to be with
someone who always agrees
with everything you say and
do and never does anything
you disagree with.
Unconditional love means that
the person can just live their
life exactly as they choose and
you will always be there for
them no matter what.
So, how does unconditional
love fit in with relationships
and marriage and sex and all
that stuff the whole world
keeps going crazy over? It
doesn ’t, really. It doesn’t “fit”
in anywhere. Relationships are
like trying to put love into a
box and keep it there, except
love is infinitely sized, and the
box is … well, there is no box
large enough. And a normal,
conventional marriage is quite
possibly the worst possible
way to show someone how
much you love them.
Unconditional love is more of
a spiritual thing. It ’s not bound
by physical things, like blood
relations and the desire to
procreate. It has nothing
whatsoever to do with sex.
Most people are in
relationships because they ’re
horny and/or lonely, even if
they genuinely think they love
the other person. But if the
person they “love” suddenly
lost their “equipment” for
whatever reason, would they
still want to be with that
person? Would they get
jealous if the person they
“ love” wanted to spend time
with other people as well?
Relationships based on needs
are not unconditional.
In order to truly understand
love, you must first forget
everything you have ever
learned about it from society
and anyone else (including
what I just said). You are the
only person who can tell you
what love is. The only reason
I ’m writing all this stuff is
because people always try to
fit “love” in with things like
dating, relationships and
marriage and all that. You
can ’t make any sense of it if
you keep doing that. You have
to get rid of everything you